Colleges for B Students

Nobody’s perfect. Not every teenager is bound for the Ivy League. While parents who interview me as a potential consultant for their college-bound superstar ask about my track record with elite institutions, it is in fact a greater challenge to help a B student find an ideal college match.

I am not talking about a teen who gets a B or even a C in a course or two; I am referring to a student whose GPA throughout high school averages slightly south or north of 3.0. Alas, we no longer live in a world of the “Gentleman C”—it has probably become more like “Gentleman B.” We live in an age of grade inflation, as well as fierce population-driven competition for spots in selective colleges. According to College Board, the percentage of applicants accepted with GPA’s of 3.0-3.24 is generally under 10%, and those accepted with GPA’s of 2.5-2.99 is 1-2%, even at colleges of average selectivity. So the competition is definitely tough out there.

The “B student” moniker covers a broad range of students, with diverse abilities, backgrounds and aspirations. After high school, their trajectories could include: immediate employment; vocational training via a technical institute, art school, or career college; four years in a college or university with an immediate vocational emphasis, such as business; or four years in a college or university with a liberal arts orientation and/or preparation for graduate school.

B students can have any number of individual stories. Some might be late bloomers, distracted from academics early in high school, but catching up junior or senior year as they mature and find their feet. Some may be solid students with an Achilles’ heel in one academic area, such as math or language, that drags down the GPA. There may be a learning disability, attentional disorder, or psychological condition to be diagnosed and addressed. It is also possible that the student’s passion is focused on a less academic field, say, culinary arts, dance, music, photography, fashion design, or graphic arts; he or she is therefore simply not engaged by abstract college prep courses such as Latin or Calculus. His or her true talents are not measured in the high school GPA; the B performance is not indicative of the student’s potential.

First, let us consider B students who are late bloomers, inconsistent performers, learning challenged, or emotionally fragile. They have special individual needs that should be considered in the college application process. It is not enough to simply find colleges with accessible admissions criteria. I suggest that families of B students consider small-to-medium colleges, if affordable, with a favorable faculty-student ratio, academic support, a close-knit student body, focus on the undergraduate, and a nurturing environment. B students are not entering college as finished products, ready to grab the brass ring; they are, in fact, underprepared, and need a transformational environment to help them mature and gain skills for success.

Where are these colleges? Pick up Loren Pope’s Colleges That Change Lives: 40 Schools That Will Change the Way You Think about Colleges. Pope describes these colleges as having “a familial sense of communal enterprise… a faculty of scholars devoted to helping young people develop their powers, mentors who often become their valued friends.” Of Pope’s schools, the most accessible for B students include: Beloit (WS), Knox (IL), Ohio Wesleyan, Hiram, College of Wooster (OH), Kalamazoo (MI), Earlham (IN), Juniata (PA), Goucher, McDaniel (MD), Lynchburg (VA), Guilford (NC), Hendrix (AK), Hampshire (MA), and Marlboro (VT). Full list at ctcl.org.

Check out “Hidden Gems” from Steven Antonoff’s The College Finder: Choose the School That’s Right for You. Of Antonoff’s hidden gems, the most accessible for B students include:  Hobart & Smith (NY), Champlain (VT), Endicott (MA), Bryant (RI), Fairfield (CT), Drew (NJ), High Point (NC), and College of Charleston (SC). For Antonoff’s complete hidden gem lists, visit InsideCollege.com.

If your B student is challenged by standardized testing, take a look at the SAT/ACT test optional schools listed at Fairtest.org. Many are also listed by Pope or Antonoff. Schools most accessible for B students include: Hobart & Smith (NY), Drew (NJ), Providence, Bryant (RI), Fairfield (CT),  Hampshire (MA), Marlboro (VT),  Goucher, Loyola (MD), Guilford (NC), Knox (IL), and U of Scranton (PA).

I hesitate to recommend large universities for students who have struggled academically in high school relative to their peers. The mission of land-grant universities is to serve the public; therefore, these schools are accessible, even for applicants with less competitive credentials. After matriculation, these schools gradually separate the wheat from the chaff. For B students unprepared for a sink-or-swim situation,  however, I suggest a more intimate college atmosphere, in which somebody notices if a freshman cuts class.

Such an environment could be public; Penn State‘s satellite campuses, for example, offer a small-scale “junior college” experience to prepare late bloomers to eventually succeed at the flagship campus in University Park. The student will eventually get to enjoy the “rah-rah” Division I sports and Greek life college experience that many middle class families seem to consider a rite of passage, a socio-cultural phenomenon unique to American society.

Second, let us consider the student with a well-developed artistic or technical interest that is better honed in a vocational institute, career college, or conservatory program than in a traditional four year college. The student could be a high academic performer, or a B student, who may simply be more of an artistic or technical specialist at heart. This situation can be especially tricky for middle class suburban families, whose general expectation is that their children will attend four year colleges. Should this student  be encouraged to attend a traditional four year liberal arts college or go the specialist route instead?

The traditional college route will provide a well-balanced education, of course, arguably important for all members of our complex society. But for the B student, it could result in continued mediocre performance, since the student is not pursuing a field in which he or she naturally excels, perhaps resulting in not graduating or not finding a job after graduation. The more vocationally-oriented route may lack prestige, depending on what kind of program it is, and most likely will not offer a comprehensive liberal arts foundation. It will, however, provide a venue in which the student will thrive. The student will be thoroughly trained in his or her passion, and will be equipped to find an occupation in that field upon graduation.

Can an artistic or technical specialist student have his or her cake and eat it too? Yes, there are some institutions that do offer deep preparation for an artistic or technical field within a traditional university setting, all along the selectivity continuum. Antonoff’s book and website, as well as Rugg’s Recommendations on the Colleges, 27th Ed., by F.E. Rugg, are helpful resources for identifying such programs. Also check out the Majors section of CollegeToolkit.com and MyMajors.com.

In my practice, I have encountered B students from many backgrounds, with diverse individual stories. The only generalization I can offer is that there is no “one size fits all” path for the B student. I feel that parents need to be careful about projecting their own expectations onto their adolescent; rather, parents need to guide their student in identifying the higher education environment where he or she will thrive and be best prepared for a satisfying career. Related posts: Preparing for a Major in…the Performing Arts, Why Study Liberal Arts in College?

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Parents of College-Bound Teens: The Power of “No”

When my son hit the terrible two’s,  I received a rather unwelcome crash course in boundary-setting, from none other than my mother-in-law, who casually observed, “Love is spelled N-O.” As a know-it-all Mozart-in-utero Baby Boomer, I did not exactly relish receiving parenting advice from the Greatest Generation, but her simple words resonated. I never forgot them.

As a consultant to families of college-bound teens or young adults preparing for careers, I routinely see cumulative results of parenting style in the student’s academic profile. In the 1970’s, psychologist Diana Baumrind identified three distinct parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. Her research found that these styles varied their mix of four elements: responsive vs. unresponsive, demanding vs. undemanding. 

Authoritarian parents are demanding but not responsive. This style is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules, with little open dialogue between parent and child. Authoritative parents are both demanding and responsive. They encourage children to be independent but still place limits and controls on their actions. Permissive parents are responsive but not demanding. This indulgent style is characterized by having few behavioral expectations for one’s child. Parents are nurturing, accepting, and responsive to their kids’ wishes, but do not require kids to behave appropriately. Maccoby & Martin added a fourth style: neglectful or uninvolved parenting, in which parents are neither responsive nor demanding. 

A recent teen alcohol study found that teens least prone to heavy drinking had authoritative parents (high on accountability and warmth). “Totalitarian” parents doubled their teens’ risk of heavy drinking, while “indulgent” parents actually tripled the risk. Being your kid’s “buddy” can have severe consequences.

The most desirable style is authoritative parenting, in which Mom and Dad are warm and involved, but also set consistent, firm boundaries. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Much easier said than done, but also an essential goal for parents. Why should a college counselor blog about this?

It is an unfortunate, but common, experience for me to see a student with above average SATs, but below average grades, even without rigorous courses. The student typically attends public high school in an affluent suburb. The student has no hardships that would interfere with academic performance: no tragic family situations, language barrier, part-time employment, or disabilities beyond mild ADHD.

So what is wrong? There are three common contexts, but the root cause, in my humble opinion, is the parenting style.

1. Extracurricular activities. Often, the student is busy with performing arts or athletics, which draw significant time and effort away from academics. So I suggest dialing down extracurriculars. Sounds reasonable enough. But curiously, the parents, who appear genuinely worried about their teen’s college prospects, do not consider this factor as something within their control.

With boys in particular, passionate devotion to sports may be driven by hunger to win the approval of a charismatic coach. Certainly, there is a testosterone element (i.e., a need to demonstrate physical prowess and win in a competitive arena). However, the coach may also be filling the powerful, constructive role of an authoritative parent. A good coach clarifies the connection between behavior and consequences; if a player does not show up for practice, he gets benched. If teachers and parents are not able to engage this boy, but the coach can, what is that coach doing right and what can be learned from him?

Remember the brilliant Stephen Spielberg film, Catch Me If You Can, based on the life of Frank Abagnale, Jr., who, before his nineteenth birthday, successfully performed cons worth millions of dollars by posing as a Pan Am pilot, a Georgia doctor, and a Louisiana lawyer. Abagnale (Leo DiCaprio) had an indulgent, excuse-making father (Christopher Walken), whose poor role modeling led to his son’s sociopathic behavior. The gruff FBI agent (Tom Hanks), who chased Abagnale across the globe, actually became a father figure because he set a moral standard for this young man. Ironically, it was the FBI agent whom Abagnale phoned on Christmas while on the lam, responding to the law officer’s persevering “tough love.” The FBI agent was the first alpha male who ever told this kid no.

2. Social life. Years ago, I heard a parent complain that her high school son did not come home until two in the morning on weekends. When I mentioned the word “curfew,” she seemed shocked at such an old-fashioned idea. Of course, I would be worried about a seventeen-year-old’s physical safety, the possibility that he may be abusing alcohol or drugs, getting a girl pregnant, or getting arrested, if he is routinely coming home at 2 AM. But I would also be concerned that he is not learning to set boundaries, since none have been created for him by his parents.

It is no wonder that a boy like this does not care about his grades, because there is a connection between limit-setting for social behavior and his own ability to internalize standards, set goals for himself, and deliver on them. When this young man goes to college, he will lack the inner tools to get up in the morning and go to class, study instead of party, and graduate with a decent academic record that will land him a job in a tough economy.

When a child grows up in a household without limits, it is actually quite scary for him, because he is developing no inner architecture to deal with life. I am reminded of Pinocchio‘s Pleasure Island, where orphaned, unsupervised boys could lawlessly pursue vices; they became “jackasses,” and then were magically changed into real donkeys and sold to the salt mines. Even as a kid, I felt sorry for those little cartoon donkeys  and wished I could warn them before it was too late. This nightmarish metaphor is full of painful truth: teens whose parents set no boundaries find themselves consigned to a suboptimal life trajectory. Hopefully, the limits we set for our kids will be internalized as a conscience (i.e., Jiminy Cricket), helping them conquer life’s adversities and ultimately take responsibility to become “real”  young adults: brave, unselfish and true.

3. Electronic distractions. For boys, electronics can mean escapist, addictive “shoot’em-up” video games. For both genders, social media can take over all free time. But in the end, it is about boundaries, set by parents, and consequently internalized by the adolescent. Parents who feel helpless about requiring that electronics be turned off during evening homework time have a boundary problem. They have more power than they realize, but they are afraid to use it. What are they afraid of? Uncomfortable conflict, an embarrassing scene, their child’s disapproval or rejection, not being a pal, not being liked? But they really need to be more afraid of the alternative. All they need to say is “N-O.”

And that’s how you spell love.

Relevant reading: The Male Brain by L. Brizendine, Boys Adrift: Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men by L. Sax, and Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens by L. Kastner. Related posts: Not Just Getting into College: Parenting for Purpose, First Aid for a Disappointing Grade, Amy Chua: Everybody Needs a Tiger, No Guts, No Glory, and Honorable Adulthood.

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What Is Important to Colleges? Top Ten Factors

This is an update of my popular post, with new data from NACAC.

SAT’s as an extra-curricular activity? Traveling soccer clubs beginning in kindergarten? Making PB & J sandwiches for the homeless? President of the varsity tiddly-wink club? Curing cancer with My First Chemistry Kit? Grade-grubbing like Summer (Miranda Cosgrove) in The School of Rock, with a lawnmower parent clearing away all obstacles in your path? What’s most important to colleges, anyway?

The National Association of College Admission Counseling (NACAC) offers guidance on this crucial question. Based on Admission Trends Surveys 1993-2009 from The NACAC State of College Admission 2010 Report, I can suggest ten priorities for your student:

1. Grades in college prep (87%). It makes sense that grades in college preparatory “solids” (math, science, history, English, foreign language) would be “Number One.” In NACAC’s survey, this factor drew the highest percentage (87%) of colleges attributing “considerable importance” to its impact in admission decisions.

Grades are a “cross country run” while test results are a “sprint”. Across four years, grades show a student’s “true colors,” not only the smarts, but the work ethic, discipline, and ability to deliver over the log haul.

2. Strength of curriculum (71%). Straight A’s are great, but is your student enrolled in honors, AP (Advanced Placement) or IB (International Baccalaureate) courses? Colleges want students that seek to challenge themselves. High schools’ advanced course options vary widely, but admissions officers want to see that your teen took advantage of the offerings in the school he or she attended.

It’s a two-edged sword! Some elite high schools with splendid AP offerings raise the bar for entry so high that above average students have little access. Late bloomers cannot  “jump on the train” half way through high school. Parents need to be aware of the curriculum from 8th Grade on, and urge the child to “board the train” (consistent with aptitude) before it “leaves the station!”

$64,000 question: “Is it better to get an A in a regular course, or a B in honors?” Wiseacre answer: “A in an honors course!” But seriously, if a student excels at a subject, he should be in the honors course. All honors is not necessary, but at least a few is advisable.

3. Admissions test scores (58%). Test scores are the “sprint”, but still trés significant, let’s not kid ourselves. Yes, many colleges are now “test optional”. But particularly if your kid applies to large state schools, expect standardized tests to play a key role.  Public universities claim to be shifting toward holistic admissions, but that shift will be labor-intensive and will not happen overnight. For distinctions between public and private institutions in the Admissons Trends Survey, read my post Public vs. Private Universities or Liberal Arts Colleges.

I am a proponent of testing, but not timed (topic for a future post). If you suspect your child has a learning  challenge that may require testing accommodations such as extra time, address it early. Using our “sprint” analogy, don’t insist that your child leap over hurdles in the race that others don’t have, to be “treated like everybody else.” Maybe your child isn’t like everybody else.

4. Grades in all courses (46%). Grades in electives count, too, especially if electives are in subject areas in which your student plans to major.

5. Essays (26%). As a college consultant who spends the lion’s share of my time helping clients with essays, I’d love to say essays are the chief factor in college admissions. They’re not. It varies by the school: a small test-optional liberal arts college weighs essays more heavily than a large state university (see Public vs. Private post). That said, in 2009, more than a fourth of alcolleges viewed essays as a factor of “considerable importance”. That percentage has doubled since 1993. So ace that personal statement!

As I posted in “How Important Is the College Essay, Really?”, the essay is always valuable in the sense that it is the only element of the college process through which the applicant’s unique, authentic voice can be heard directly. You can’t control whether your chemistry teacher has it “in” for you, but you can control what you write in your essay!

6. Demonstrated interest (21%). This factor has only been measured since 2003, when it was 7%. As I posted in “Why University of X?”, demonstrated interest has become a hot button for admissions people required to maximize their yield (see  The Boston Globe: “A new factor in making that college–loving it”) .

7. Teacher recommendation  (17%). My post on “Teacher’s Recommendations” tells you everything you need to know. Encourage your kid not to hide in the back of the class! And don’t be the last student to ask a popular teacher for a recommendation: they do get “rec” fatigue.

8. Counselor recommendation (17%). The guidance counselor not only writes the cornerstone “rec” for each applicant; she is the spokesperson for the applicant with every college. So if your teen attends a large high school where it is hard for counselors to get to know students, your kid must get to the guidance office whenever possible all four years, keeping the counselor informed about achievements and issues.

9. Class rank (16%). Class rank data is downplayed in some schools, to dial down competitive attitudes. But you know vaguely where your kid is.  This factor should help gauge how realistic your student’s target schools are.

10. Extra-curricular activities (9%). ).So this is where all the hours of playing varsity sports and rehearsing for the winter musical goes, at the bottom of the top ten list? YUP! So unless your child is a Div I athlete or a classical violin prodigy, extra-curriculars should be undertaken for personal development and fun. Not as an “ace in the hole” for acceptance! College is an academic institution, which is why, on the NACAC list, grades are at the top and activities are at the bottom.

To offer further insights, I am sharing a segment from a recent interview I did on Hometowne TV, a local access cable network based in Summit, NJ, hosted by Myung Bondy. You can find additional segments of this interview covering a number of college application topics on my YouTube channel.

Related Posts: First Day of High School, 10 Things Parents Can Do For Your College-Bound 10th Grader, Your 11th Grader’s 11 Steps to Success, First Aid for a Disappointing Grade, How Important Is the College Essay, Really?, Why University of X?,  and Public vs. Private Universities or Liberal Arts Colleges.

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Not Just Getting into College: Parenting for Purpose

Remember the midlife crisis movie, City Slickers? Billy Crystal played a burned out media sales guy. He found no personal satisfaction in his work, and was embarrassed to speak to his daughter’s class on Parents Career Day. When asked what he did for a living, Billy shrugged cynically, “I sell air.”

Those who have seen this wise, funny film know this was the wake-up call for Billy and two buddies to go West. With the help of a grizzled old trail boss, “Curly,” played by Jack Palance, they discovered that life could be a meaningful adventure.

At Position U 4 College, I probe a student’s interests and long term goals.  I am often struck by the absence of purpose, even from students with remarkable talent. I once thought my role with college-bound teens was about the “HOW.” Now I realize it is about the “WHY.” William Damon, Hoover Institution Senior Fellow, Stanford University Education Professor, and Director of Stanford’s Center on Adolescence, has written a book that resonates for me as a college consultant. Its title is The Path to Purpose: Helping Our Children Find a Calling in Life.

I referred to this book in, Antidotes for the Race to Nowhere, but it is so rich in wisdom that I’d like to delve into it more deeply. It is based on Damon’s adolescent study, in which a quarter of respondents appeared to be rudderless. He refers to these young people as “disengaged” (25%), while describing the other three groups as “dreamers” (25%), “dabblers” (31%), and “purposeful”(20%). Damon identifies crucial factors for helping young people develop purpose. He views a parent as a “Socratic coach” who finds everyday opportunities to practice the precepts below:

Listen closely for the spark, then fan the flames. Damon offers vivid real-life examples, such as Ryan Hreljac, a first grader who founded Ryan’s Well Foundation to bring clean drinking water to children in Africa. Rather than steal Damon’s thunder, I will relate an example of my own.

At 14, my son was crazy for the guitar. Eric not only played in a band, but also designed and built his own guitars from kits. His school required community service hours, so he asked, “Could I do something related to  guitar?” He mentioned how much the instrument meant to him, and mused that music could change the life of some needy kid somewhere.

I picked up on his idea, scouting the web for ways to apply it. Teaching disadvantaged kids to play guitar was not an option for a kid under 18. Finally, I came across a fledgling nonprofit that gave guitar lessons to inner-city kids called Little Kids Rock. Its website asked for donatons of gently used guitars. It occured to me that Eric could build guitars and donate them.

The nonprofit’s charismatic founder, Dave Wish, was thrilled with the idea. Eric built three guitars that he presented to fifth graders at a charter school in Newark, NJ. A decade later, Little Kids Rock serves 66,000 children in 24 cities nationwide. Eric had the inspirational experience of being a part of that special program in its infancy.

Take advantage of regular oppotunities to open a dialogue. Damon mentions the dinner table as an aspiration “hatching ground.” I believe the car (dinner table of this generation?) also offers a great venue for picking up on a young person’s sparks of interest that may slip out on the way to a soccer game.

Be open-minded and supportive of the sparks of interest expressed. Damon observes that it’s easy to help your teen to build on an idea in an interest area you share. But what if your kid’s inner voice is beckoning toward an area that is foreign to you?

My niece Caroline, aged 14, is crazy for animals. Her parents are not exactly animal lovers, but they willingly support her passion within boundaries of practicality. Besides a dog, cats, birds and hamsters, her parents facilitate her love of horses through leasing and lessons at a nearby barn. Caroline goes to summer camp at Dolphin Research Center in the Florida Keys. We don’t know where her passion will lead, but it is poised to direct her life and most likely improve the lives of animals in the future.

Convey your own sense of purpose and the meaning you derive from your work. Damon references a WSJ article pointing out that “today’s workers more often spend their time talking on the phone or clicking on a computer than making tangible goods that a child can appreciate.  The child is left with the impression that the only thing that is valuable about the parent’s work is the paycheck he or she brings home.”

When Eric was little, he knew Mom’s job at Nabisco had something to do with Teddy Grahams, his favorite snack. As he got older, I shared more, creatng teachable moments. Now a college student, Eric is considering a Washington Semester. I told him I once did a similar program, and I learned that government bureaucrats often impugn business people with avaricious motives, and no regard for societal impact. This unfortunate hyperbolic view, spun by Hollwood, is held by many young people today. If only parents would talk about the meaning of their work with their kids.

I explained that when I got my MBA, I wanted to find out if that corporate stereotype was accurate. I vowed that there would at least be one scrupulous professional in the business world–me. My decisions would put people to work, my products would be wholesome and a good value, my advertising truthful, and I would deal with colleagues and employees with integrity. This is an essential perspective for a young person to hear from his parents. Eric grew up knowing that his parents, both business people, were worth emulating. A person can change the world in any job, private or public sector.

Impart wisdom about the practicalities of life. No, parents should not dismiss “impractical” careers, like the father who tries to force his son to become a doctor instead of an actor in Dead Poet’s Society. Rather, Damon clarifies that parents can help teens figure out how to make their dreams come true by helping them understand what is realistically required to attain their goals.

Introduce children to potential mentors. Damon’s study shows that purposeful youth often look to people outside the home for the ideas and inspiration that help them find purpose. I couldn’t agree more on the power of mentors. Read my post, Everybody Needs a Tiger.

Encourage an entrepreneurial attitude. Damon advises cultivating the following attitudes: goal-setting with realistic plans to reach goals; a can-do attitude; persistence in the face of obstacles; tolerance for risk; resilience when encountering failure; determination to achieve measurable results; and resourcefulness in attaining those results.

Nurture a positive outlook. We complain that our kids don’t listen to us, but they absorb more than we realize. Damon cautions to beware of messages we unwittingly send. When my mother encountered an obstacle, she would habitually exclaim, “Now we’re really in the soup!” Her fatalistic lens was itself an obstacle that I needed to overcome to become an achiever.

Instill in children a feeling of agency, linked to responsibility. Damon encourages sending the message that our kids’ dreams matter, and they can make them come true. He urges parents to teach kids the realistic requirements of achieving goals, and create expectations that their kids will take on responsibility. My niece Caroline grooms and tacks her horse, takes her black lab to agility training, and cleans her critters’ cages (with help from Dad).

Ironically, the ancient Greeks used the term daimon to decribe an individual’s guiding force that calls that person to his or her unique destiny. William Damon encourages parents to do all they can to help their children hear and respond to that call. Relevant reading: The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling by James Hillman. Related posts: Antidotes for the Race to Nowhere, Everybody Needs a Tiger, and Honorable Adulthood.

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Antidotes for the Race to Nowhere

Vicki Abeles’ grassroots documentary film, Race to Nowhere, has generated reflection and thoughtful discussion among parents, teachers and policymakers about achievement pressure placed on our nation’s children and adolescents.

As described on its website, the film “points to the silent epidemic in our schools: cheating has become commonplace, students have become disengaged, stress-related illness, depression and burnout are rampant, and young people arrive at college and the workplace unprepared and uninspired.” Visit the film website for information on screenings and trailers and clips.

A complete antidote to the issues raised in the film would require a transformation of American education, parenting and societal values. I do not pretend to be so ambitious in one blog post! However, let me plant a few seeds that could be directionally positive, from the perspective of a college consultant who is also a parent, aunt, and lifelong student of psychology.

The Race. Most Americans would probably say, if asked, that they desire higher educational standards to better prepare our children to compete globally. Most government efforts to raise standards are rote-oriented and content-driven, measured by standardized tests, rather than process-oriented (i.e., ability to think critically, communicate clearly, problem-solve creatively). Ultimately, there is a disconnect between what most Americans would likely consider to be educational improvement and government programs that attempt to raise the bar.

At the same time, I believe that American culture suffers from anti-intellectualism, a tendency to defend mediocrity as “normal,” and eschew academic excellence as “geekism.” The same parents who complain that their kids get too much homework that interferes with “family time” ironically do not seem to have a problem with driving all over the state to get their kids to swim meets and soccer tournaments.

When I hear about teen burnout,  I wonder whether it is only academic pressure creating that exhaustion. I am more inclined to believe that it is overly intense “resume building” that incoporates an impossible schedule of extra-curricular activities, on top of demanding academics. If I were to dial down pressure on college-bound teens, academics would not be the part of the equation that I would edit back. Here’s why:

Based on Admission Trends Surveys 1993-2008 from The State of College Admission 2009 Report by the National Association of College Admission Counseling (NACAC), grades in college preparatory courses are the single most important factor considered in college admissions decisions. In NACAC’s survey, this factor drew the highest percentage (75%) of colleges attributing “considerable importance” to its impact in admission decisions.

By contrast, only 7% of colleges surveyed attributed “considerable importance” to the impact of extra-curricular activities on admissions decisions. That’s right. So if your kid is overwhelmed, do you dial back academics, or extra-curricular activities?

If you are scratching your head, wondering how this dichotomy can be right, you have been listening to an urban legend, for which college consultants are, alas, partially responsible. The urban legend is that to get into any desirable college, an applicant must have perfect grades and amazing extra-curricular accomplishments.

Not true. This advice resonates for applicants to the Ivy League and other elite colleges. Consultants are focusing on these schools when they proclaim that acceptance requires your kid to earn perfect grades, test scores, be an Olympic athlete, and have discovered a cure for cancer. But there are 2500 accredited four-year higher educational institutions in the USA,; selectivity varies considerably!

The Destination. So it may be that American high school students are racing with too much of a payload on their backs—overwhelming academics and extra-curricular activities. They are also chasing too few schools, whose standards are creeping higher and higher as the baby boomlet drives unreasonable demand for the limited supply of Ivy or otherwise elite degrees.

What’s worse, there does not seem to be enough of a prize when students reach their destination, even if it is the college of their dreams. The New York Times recently ran an article, “College Freshmen Stress Levels High, Survey Finds.” The author, Tamar Lewin, quoted results of the 2010 UCLA Higher Education Research Institute & Cooperative Institution Research Program Freshman Survey (which has studied a quarter of a million students entering college for the last forty years), highlighting that self-reported emotional health is at a 25 year low for freshmen. The economy was identified as a possible contributor, or at least, an exacerbator.

The recessionary employment outlook could be causing more pain for this generation than for young people of past decades. Psychotherapist Madeline Levine, author of The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids, identifies materialism and isolation as factors that are intensifying psychological distress for young people.

Dr. Levine also references the UCLA HERI/CIRP freshman studies. She laments, “When asked about reasons for going to college in the 1960s and early seventies, most students placed the highest value on ‘becoming an educated person’ or ‘developing a philosophy of life’… Beginning in the 1990’s a majority of students say that ‘making a lot of money’ has become the most important reason to go to college, outranking both the reasons above, as well as ‘becoming an authority in my field,’ or  ‘helping others in difficulty.'” She points out the irony that this shift in values coincided with dramatic rises in rates of depression and suicide for this group.

Translation: Our affluent society emphasizes materialism. We pressure our kids to land acceptance at a small group of acceptable, elite colleges, so they can make a lot of money. But the recession dims their prospects. So they are devastated. And they do not have nobler, more enduring values to keep them going through this difficult time in our economy.

Psychologist William Damon, author of The Path to Purpose: Helping Our Children Find Their Calling in Life, references his own large population study of adolescents, in which he found that over a fourth were rudderless. He called these young people “disengaged (25%),” while describing the other three categories as “dreamers (25%),” “dabblers (31%),” and “purposeful (20%).”

What to Do? Researchers are always better at identifying problems than suggesting solutions, so I will give it a try.

1. Emphasize academics. If something has to be thrown overboard to stave off burnout, let it be extra-curricular activities.

2. Consider a broad range of college alternatives. Expand your horizons beyond the Ivy League with books like Loren Pope’s classic, Colleges That Change Lives: 40 Schools That Will Change the Way You Think About Colleges. There is a good college fit for everybody.

3. Reflect on your own values. What is important to you, and what message are you sending to your child? Robert Fulghum once said that your children “are always watching you.” When you make decisions large and small, what kind of philosophy of life are you modeling? Do the ends justify the means? What are the priorities in your race? Does the journey matter?

For more thought-provoking discussions on this topic, visit Lynn O’Shaughnessy’s College Solution Blog. Related Posts: What’s Important to Colleges? Top Ten Factors, Not Just Getting into College: Parenting for Purpose, Your 11th Grader’s 11 Steps to Success, First Aid for a Disappointing Grade, Amy Chua: The Lady or the Tiger, Your Target Colleges–And It’s a Moving Target, and Honorable Adulthood.

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High School Testing Strategy and Timeline

The alarm clock rings, startling me out of sound REM sleep. I grab it furiously, switch it off, and hurl it to the floor. Then I glance at the time, and—YIKES! I’m late! I leap out of bed. It’s Saturday morning and I’m missing the SAT’s! I’m in a cold sweat until I realize it’s just a dream. Whew! I’m 55, my son is in college, and…I don’t ever have to take the SAT’s again. But I still have that nightmare. Doesn’t everybody?

At Position U 4 College, I advise students still living that nightmare. Recalling my test anxiety, I recommend a schedule of standardized tests that gets the biggest bang for the least amount of testing. Still, I suggest whatever regimen that is practical for a student’s specific goals. Let’s go through a potential test schedule, year by year,  and I’ll show you what is optional and what is not.

9th Grade: No worries yet. If you have a passion for a pre-health career (especially an accelerated medical program) and are enrolled in freshman biology, take the SAT II Subject Test in Biology. Take it in June after you have mastered the year’s  content and it is still fresh in your mind.

Caution on SAT II Subject Tests: only take them if you are proficient in the subject. You don’t take them with a general college-bound population (like SAT I or ACT); you take them with students who excel in this subject. Check the percentile rankings. If you get 700 in Biology, you are only in the 84th percentile in that highly skewed group. Conversely, 700 in the SAT I Math section puts you in the 93rd percentile.

10th Grade: In most high schools, your kid will take the PSAT (Preliminary SAT I) twice (in school, in October). It is truly practice for sophomores, in school under genuine test conditions. Should you urge her to practice with a test book? I say yes: success breeds confidence. However, it is too early to stress your teen out about testing. She has not had all the math necessary to ace it, so interpret results with a grain of salt.

The 9th Grade Biology approach works for 10th Grade too. If interested in pre-health, especially accelerated medicine, take SAT II Chemistry in June after a year of Chemistry. Verbal students can take SAT II Literature, if familiar with British and American literature, but study a test book for terminology on figurative language.

10th Grade testing decisions are opportunistic and case-by-case. My son’s high school actually offered the full AP (Advanced Placement) US History curriculum in 10th Grade, so he took SAT II US History in May the Saturday after the AP Test. The idea is to take a test after a year of content, while it is still fresh in your mind!

11th Grade: The year from hell! First, your  junior will take the PSAT-NMSQT, in school in October. This one counts, not with the colleges, but for the National Merit Scholarship Program. Also, note the National Achievement Scholarship Program for African-Americans and the National Hispanic Recognition Program.

Of the 1.5 million NMSP entrants, about 50,000 qualify for recognition. More than two-thirds of qualifiers receive Letters of Commendation; a third of the 50,000 become Semifinalists, 94% of whom go on to become Finalists. Over half the Finalists are selected for merit scholarships.

When applying to college, your kid will be thrilled to have academic awards to fill in. NMS Commendation is a great one! Qualifying scores vary by state. Alas, my state NJ has the highest cutoff score.

Now, the question to which I devote an entire post: Should I Take SAT, ACT, or BOTH? Your junior has essentially taken the SAT I twice, since the PSAT is so similar. You get 11th Grade PSAT results by December. If you are  disappointed, register for ACT in February, with tutoring if you can afford it.

By end of February, you will know which test to choose. Compare SAT vs. ACT scores by looking at internet comparison charts. Your student will then either sign up to take the ACT again to slightly improve, or abandon ACT and go SAT all the way.  All US colleges accept both. The SAT/ACT test date pattern goes like this: Jan-SAT, Feb-ACT, Mar-SAT (no Subject Tests), Apr-ACT, May-SAT, Jun-Both, Sep-Both, Oct-Both, Nov-SAT, Dec-Both.

Next burning question: How many times should you take SAT or ACT, once you have decided on one or the other? It varies by individual, but I say twice is nice, no more than thrice. Both SAT and ACT offer choice of which test dates to send in. (However, when colleges look at your SAT scores from multiple test dates, they take the highest score from each section.)

June of junior year, take one of the SAT II Subject Tests in Math. Math Level 1 tests algebra, geometry, basic trigonometry, algebraic functions, and elementary statistics. Math Level 2 covers numbers and operations; alegbra and functions; coordinate, three-dimensional and trigonometric geometry; data analysis, statistics and probability.

Compass Education Group says you need to have completed pre-calculus with a solid “B” or better to feel comfortable on Math 2. The content of the Math 1 test extends only through Algebra II and basic trigonometry. Only quantitative college majors, such as engineering, require Math 2.

12th Grade: Your teen will probably retake SAT I or ACT in the fall, as well as a few SAT II Subject tests, depending on how selective his college list is. Compass offers a list of what is required where. Some schools “require” SAT II’s, some “recommend” them, some  only “consider” them. Specialized majors and accelerated programs may demand more than their university requires. Some schools do not require SAT II Tests if you take the ACT with Writing, so check each school’s website for specifics.

Delay foreign language tests until November, assuming you are still studying the language. You want to be as advanced in the language as possible. November offers “with listening,” which sounds hard, but is not.

“STOP! “ you say. “You said you were going to help minimize testing!” I know. Depending on where you go, you may need NO standardized tests. If you’re applying to a large state university, you will probably need the SAT or ACT. But many small private liberal arts colleges are now test-optional, listed at FairTest.org, So you may not have to wake up from that recurring dream for the rest of your life.

Related posts: Should I Take the SAT, the ACT, or BOTH?, What Is Important to Colleges? Top Ten Factors.

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Helicopter Parents: College and Beyond

The Emory University tour for prospective families traversed the beautiful Atlanta campus on a fragrant spring day in 2007, ultimately persuading my son that this was the ideal place for his college experience. When the admissions tourguide led us around Emory‘s state-of-the-art medical complex, she happened to point out a helipad for emergency transport.

Never able to resist a comic opportunity, I chimed in, “Is that for the helicopter parents?” The sophomore tourguide seemed flustered by my unorthodox question, and some nervous parents glared. But the wiser parents flashed knowing smiles—-and all the teenagers giggled.

At the time, I meant only to poke fun at parents who micromanage their high school students through the college process. I did not yet realize that for many families today, the “helicopter parents” phenomenon continues throughout the college years…and even into the careers of emerging young adults!

A recent article in US News & World Report, “10 Reasons Why Parents Should Never Contact College Professors,” confirms that helicoptering can and does continue way beyond dorm dropoff. No wonder freshman orientations include presentations about “letting go” for parents, and schedules designate a specific time when “PARENTS DEPART.”

It’s not just because faculty and students find hovering parents overbearingly annoying. A recent study by psychologist Neil Montgomery at Keene State College in New Hampshire suggests that students with hypermanaging parents tend to be less open to new ideas and actions, and may be more vulnerable, anxious and self-conscious, compared to students with more distant parents.

I just finished reading The iConnected Parent: Staying Close to Your Kids in College (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow Up co-authored by Barbara K. Hofer, a professor at Middlebury College in Vermont and journalist Abigail Sullivan Moore. This thought-provoking 2010 book was based on a 2005 study at Middlebury and a 2006 study at the University of Michigan.

The authors expand on the helicopter concept by demonstrating the role technology plays to enable parental micromanaging of students’ lives when they no longer live at home. Many parents are in constant contact with their kids at college via cell, text, email, Facebook, and Skype.

The Middlebury and University of Michigan studies indicate that many parents edit their children’s papers via email, a behavior that was not generally feasible during our snail mail past. Some parents intervene in academic decisions such as choosing majors or contacting professors to dispute grades. Middle school parent-teacher conference redux?

Technology-enabled hypermanaging even continues into young people’s career search activities. The studies revealed that some Moms and Dads actually log in with their kids’ passwords and fill out job applications, write resumes and cover letters, and even contact employers on behalf of their grown children. Oy! Where does it end?

The authors concede that overparenting is passionate parenting taken a little too far. Many Baby Boomers, having fewer children later in life, view our progeny as so “precious” that we try to protect them from risks in this decade’s competitive college process and the depressed job market. Few actually become Blackhawks, a coinage for parents who cross the line from excess zeal to unethical behavior, such as writing their kids’ admissions essays or college term papers.

And we do want to remain connected to our kids, don’t we? It’s a tough world out there, and intergenerational connection is a desirable, natural, time-honored source of support through life. It’s that overcontrolling attitude that we must all guard against!

Hofer & Moore suggest that overparenting through constant contact hinders college students’ personal growth, and robs young adults of the opportunity to make decisions and learn from mistakes. They point out that excessive, controlling communication is not only detrimental to students, but it actually exacerbates parents’ anxiety as well.

The authors recommend a moderate, balanced approach that retains connection but empowers our kids to find their own way. I couldn’t agree more. Follow your instincts, use common sense, resist the temptation to fill every vaccuum and answer every question, and most importantly, LISTEN to feedback from your son or daughter. After all, it’s their turn now.

Related posts: Senior Year? Learn to Paint, Beginnings, Endings and Change,  College Orientation Rites, College Move-In: The Aftermath, Letting Go (Back by Popular Demand), What’s Next? and Honorable Adulthood.

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Life’s Little College Admissions Insights

Father and daughter partnership. Indian Princesses. Take Our Daughters to Work. Paul Simon’s “Father and Daughter” son from The Wild Thornberrys Movie. And oh, yes, the college process!

The best partnership for my niece’s college journey was with her Dad. He’s a high school chemistry teacher and science department chair, who coaches sports and participates in community theater. She’s an academic star who shines in all the performing arts. They both love Monty Python, Blackadder, and Flight of the Conchords. Their campus visits together created an explorative, low stress dynamic ideal for trying on different college identities, ultimately resulting in her choice of Bucknell University.

Eric Yaverbaum, public relations luminary and best-selling author, recently experienced a similar partnership with his college-bound daughter, Cole. They joined forces to write a book on the college process this past year. The result was a wonderful collection of wisdom from guidance counselors and independent college consultants: Life’s Little College Admisisons Insights: Tips From the Country’s Most Acclaimed Guidance Counselors.

Eric and Cole say parent-teen partnership is one of the greatest assets in the college process. I can’t agree with them more. The  young adult must be in the driver’s seat, with parent as supportive facilitator. A tall order, but the relationship dynamics of the college journey set the tone for your future consultative relationship with your son or daughter, in college and beyond.

I was honored, of course,  to be among the counselors quoted in this eye-opening little book of wisdom. But more importantly, I was struck by the father-daughter collaboration in this venture. This authorship was a metaphor for the college process itself: a dual generation effort, juxtaposed against the parent’s need for vicarious accomplishment through the child and the adolescent’s vigorous striving for autonomy and ultimate independence.

Every parent-teen dynamic is unique: father-son, father-daughter, mother-son, mother-daughter, and both parents versus child of either gender. All relationship dynamics can faciliate a positive college search and decision process. Aa your teen goes through it, try every possible combination. Dad taking son to one school, mom helping son with essay, aunt taking daughter to college fair, and so on. And if one combo is particularly problematic, filled with rebellious fireworks, select another for campus visits! Of course, third parties like aunts and uncles, guidance counselors, tutors or college consultants come to the rescue as well.

Read ths book. It has great pearls of wisdom. And try different parent-child partnerships. This is a time of great change, so it’s a great time to experiment with many varied dynamics. And a great time to grab little college admissions insights, wherever you find them.

Related posts: Tips for College Trips, High School Junior Apathetic About College Applications? and Senior Parent? Learn to Paint.

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Your College Application Questions

Collegeblog has been viewed by thousands of parents of college-bound teens since last spring.  I cover diverse topics relevant to parents’ experiences launching their kids from high school to college. Thank you for your enthusiasm and comments!

I cover topics such as college list (Your Target Colleges…And It’s a Moving Target), financial aid (How to Afford College), application logistics (Jumpstart Your Online College Application!), college planning by high school year (First Day of High School, 10 Things You Can Do for Your 10th Grader, top post Your 11th Grader’s 11 Steps to Success, Countdown to Senior Year), essays (Preparing for College Essays by Journaling), college trips (Next Six Months of College Visits), launching seniors (Senioritis and What to Do About It), acceptance-waitlist-denial (Waiting for the Fat Envelope), empty nesting (Letting Go),  move-in (College Dorm Checklist), and college life (College Freshmen Home for Thanksgiving).

Readers know how to navigate my site, typing in topics of interest in the green search box, clicking on categories or the blue tag cloud. You can do an email signup to be notified when I do a new post, about once a week. Check out all the options on the right!

If you have questions that are not being answered by any of my posts, or would like to suggest a topic, I encourage you to contact me directly: krishintz@positionu4college.com. Or just click on Leave a Comment below. I will be happy to respond privately and write a post on the topic if you would like!

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How to Afford College

I am not a financial aid expert, or a CPA with a Certified College Planner designation. But after guiding college-bound families for several years, I have picked up a few broad brush ideas…

1. Incorporate a financial aid strategy into the college search from Day 1, instead of at the end. There is nothing more frustrating than your teen landing acceptance at a dream school, only to find your family doesn’t qualify for financial aid, or merit money is not given by that college. Wouldn’t it have been better to spend all that time and energy on a school that does offer merit scholarships?

Up front, compare your initial college list with  Kiplinger.com/money‘s “best value” rankings and merit scholarship availability via MeritAid.com. Then refine your list with affordability in mind.

2. Have a clear strategy and timeline for  merit scholarships.Some schools give scholarships to students whose academic credentials are higher than the typical incoming freshman. They offer accomplished students an incentive to attend their school, to raise its statistics and improve its rankings.

Colleges are businesses, and there’s no such thing as free merit money! If all the schools on your teen’s list are realistic and reach, don’t expect any academic scholarships.

If an applicant just “squeaks in” and admissions feels they’re doing that kid a favor by offering acceptance, there’s no reason to offer money too. But if admissions feels the kid would be doing them a favor by attending, they are likely to offer merit money. If your family is too proud to support your child’s enrollment at a slightly less prestigious school, don’t expect academic scholarships.

Merit money is also offered for sports prowess (Division I scholarships), special arts talents, community service, or multicultural enrichment of the student body. Your son or daughter can win these scholarships at realistic and reach schools.

Again, reciprocity is expected. Sports scholars are supposed to win for their school. Music award recipients are expected to distinguish the university’s ensembles. Community service prizes may include a volunteer project requirement. Multicultural scholars may be asked to participate in special programs.

Pay attention to timing! Div I sports is in a class by itself: start contacting coaches junior year or earlier. Arts scholarships may require special applications with portfolios, CD’s or websites with live auditions for finalists in the winter (i.e., Bucknell, Lehigh, Skidmore).

Some programs require advance applications or nomination by the student’s high school in the fall. Finalists visit campus for interviews in  winter or spring (i.e., Emory, Vanderbilt, U Virginia, Elon). So if you don’t fold scholarships into your upfront planning, you will miss big opportunities.

3. Consider going to university in the UK. Tuition, room & board at a private college in the U.S. runs at least $50K a year. For a public school  in-state, low $20’s. In the UK, it’s in the low $30’s, and it takes only three years to earn a baccalaureate degee. You do the math! But that’s a whole lot of airline tickets.

Don’t get this bright idea senior year. It’s a complicated landscape, so start exploring it sophomore year. Consider these books: Study Away: The Unauthorized Guide to College Abroad by M. Balaban and The Times Good University Guide 2009 by J. O’Leary.

Visit the British Council USA website, for Americans interested in studying in the UK. Visit UCAS, the UK’s admissions application clearinghouse organization. Read my post: “UK for college–save time and money!”

4. Don’t be too proud to consider a public institution.The age of private school snobbery is over, clinched by the 2008-10 recession.

Must there be a quality trade-off  between public and private? In US News & World Report‘s 2010 ranking of the top 50 national universities (i.e., Ivies and other prestigious schools): UC Berkeley ranked 21; UCLA & UVA 24; U Michigan 27; UNC Chapel Hill 28; William & Mary 33; Georgia Tech & UC San Diego 35; U Illinois Urbana-Champaign & U Wisconsin Madison 39; UC Davis, UC Santa Barbara & U Washington 42; UC Irvine 46; Penn State, U Florida & UT Austin 47. Not too shabby.

Among top 15 master’s universities in the North: The College of NJ ranked 5, SUNY Geneseo 12. South: UNC Wilmington ranked 12. Midwest: U Northern Iowa ranked 14. West: California Polytechnic State ranked 6.

The state school stereotype of huge, anonymous lecture classes is disputed by some public schools. Consider two “hot” Northeast state schools. TCNJ enrolled 6244 undergrads in 2008, with 41.5% of classes < 20 and in-state tuition of $13K. SUNY Geneseo enrolled 5585, with 28.9% of classes < 20 and in-state tuition of $14K. Both have beautiful campuses and stringent entry requirements (TCNJ SAT’s 1150-1350, Geneseo 1230-1380). It’s no slam-dunk to get accepted at these schools!

5. Go to community college for the first two years. Enrollments are booming (2010 survey of community college presidents). Most state universities have articulation agreements with community colleges. Students can automatically transfer after earning an associates’ degree or two years of coursework.

For an excellent discussion of community college strategy, read The College Solution: A Guide for Everyone Looking for the Right School at the Right Price by Lynn O’Shaughnessy.

 

6. Get a 4 or 5 on five AP tests. If your kid does well on the AP exams, he or she can place out of course requirements at most colleges. Every school has its own system. But generally, if your student gets 4’s or 5’s on a semester’s worth of courses, that means early graduation and a savings of $25K at a private college.

7. Take summer courses at a public institution. If your child doesn’t place out of a whole semester of courses through AP’s, get  requirements out of the way in summer at a state university. This will still be a bargain if your student is attending a private college full time.

8. Apply very selectively for external scholarships. Truth be told, you are more likely to get substantial merit money from a college where your student’s credentials are a bit higher than other accepted applicants (i.e. “Presidential” scholarships for which you are automatically considered when accepted). So make sure your college list includes a few safe colleges your child would consider attending if the money was there. That said, it is easy to have your child fill out a profile on ScholarPro. It especially makes sense if your child automatically qualifies based on ethnic, racial or cultural status.

Look for scholarships where the student needs to do something small, worth the effort for the amount offered. Prizes are generally around $1000, but every bit helps. Most kids are too burnt out by the college process to write scholarship essays. So the individual who writes well and takes initiative has a shot. Check out books by Ben Kaplan: How to Go to College Almost for Free and The Scholarship Scouting Report: An Insider’s Guide to America’s Best Scholarships.

9. Join U Promise. U Promise members receive contributions to “529″ college savings plans when making everyday purchases  at 21,000 grocery & drug stores, 14,000 gas stations, 8,000 restaurants, thousands of retail stores and  600 online shopping sites. I never go out of my way to buy something from a specific vendor. But it’s easy and mindless like airline miles.  I earn a few grand every year, and every bit adds up.

10. Fill out aid forms even if you don’t think you’re eligible. Worst case, you’ll get a low-interest loan or work study. Some scholarship programs require that you fill out a FAFSA (Federal form) and CSS Profile (private school’s own form). Become financial aid literate by reading Tim Higgins’ Pay for College Without Sacrificing Your Retirement: A Guide to Your Financial Future

For more ideas on affording college, check out: FinAid.org, Kiplinger.com/money, and Lynn O’Shaughnessy’s two blogs, CBS MoneyWatch College Solution Blog and The College Solution Blog.

Download Ms. O’Shaughnessy’s new eBook, Shrinking the Cost of College. This terrific workbook-style resource offers 152 ways to cut the cost of college, broken down in easy-to-understand language with real-life examples. Even for an accounting-challenged individual like myself, she makes sense of the financial aid and scholarship landscape!

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